Sunday Edition: The Unsexy Things That "Cured" My Burnout
It's not meditation, therapy, or journaling
The Sunday Edition is Tuesday’s little sister—off-the-cuff updates I’d bring up over a coffee catch-up with a friend.
On July 20th, 2019 I posted on Instagram, rather dramatically, that I was “retiring from wedding photography and that 2020 would be my last year.” After 5+ years of being a full time wedding photographer I was buuuuuuuurrrrrnt out.
I didn’t pick my camera up for over a year and it took me 2+ years to recover from that burn out and during that time I’ve talked to soooo many people who went through something similar, with their careers, with a hobby they’d gone all in on, or even with the pace of their social life.
At the peak of my burn out I spent an inordinate amount of time googling “Burn out cure” and “I hate everything now what” and “How to quit everything.”
Most of the answers I found were some variation of:
Try meditation
Journal about your frustrations
Get a therapist
And, like, yes sure. But also, I suspected that meditation wasn’t going to “cure” 5+ years of overwork.
Now that I’m on the other side of burn out I can see what actually helped (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t meditation.) If you’re burnt out, or just lightly exhausted or unusually grumpy! This might help.
2018 ate me for breakfast
Did you know that when you look at a tree’s rings, you can track not only the tree’s age but the years the tree experienced something traumatizing? If you sawed open my femur, I think you’d be able to see the scars of 2018-2020.
I was exhausted by the “perfection trolling”
Is this a real term? I don’t know, I made it up! If you’ve ever posted something on social media, I imagine you’ve encountered this.
It looks like…
Posting about a wedding trend or recent wedding I had photographed and getting DMs about how I was actually feeding into capitalism and was part of the wedding industry wasting millions of dollars.
Getting a message asking “how much do you charge” which would lead to me sending them my investment guide and getting a snarky email back saying I’m overcharging and they have a friend who can do it for $300. (I don’t know how a full time wedding photographer could make a living charging $300 to photograph a wedding, but that’s neither here nor there).
Sharing that I was traveling out of state to photograph a wedding (a pinch me moment) and getting chastised for leaving my family home.
Mentioning that I enjoy photographing first looks and that it allows more personal time for the bride and groom before the whole day starts and things are a blur. Getting messages that I need to “stay in my lane” and not push my personal agendas onto people. (I wasn’t, just sharing my thoughts on the matter)
All of this added up to, honestly, being afraid to post or even open a DM.
My business model decimated my mental health
I know I’m not the first person to say this but self-employment and entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone (because it’s incredibly difficult mentally, emotionally, logistically, and financially.)
As the internet changed, the way I made money changed also. I created and sold photography flat lay mats and photography backdrops, I did sponsored posts, I consulted and coached, I sold online courses.
But every year the algorithms changed and old platforms disappeared while new ones popped up, along with new learning curves and different algorithms.
And here’s the thing about launching any product, You can create a product you’re proud of and do your absolute best to promote it… and that doesn’t mean it will sell well.
Not having stable, reliable income? That shit is stressful. It keeps you awake at night and eats into your confidence. It prevents you from planning for the future because who knows if you’ll be able to afford that vacation or even that haircut?
The weekends away from my family and the unpredictability of my income was the nail in the coffin during an already challenging time. I was done.
What helped “cure” my burn out
I changed how I earn money. I wish I could tell you that meditation and therapy and journaling is what helped me process and heal from my burnout, but here’s the truth. I was able to recover from burn out when I switched to a salaried job with stability.
Taking that job meant my income is consistent and predictable. I know exactly how much I’ll make each month. I’m not banking on the engagement season to map out my year or seasons that dictate weddings in the Central Valley. I’m not held hostage by algorithms or by current events that would make my postings or family session posts timing feel inappropriate and tone-deaf.
At the time I worked at a hospital. I work 8-5, I get paid. Luxurious!
I stopped consuming most “self-help” and business content
During the 2010s many of us were fed a steady diet of 5 am wake up, green smoothie, $75 planner self-help content.
That was paired with business content that prioritized growth and wealth over everything, 7-figure passive income, and delegating everything to a $20-an-hour virtual assistant. #girlboss.
And while I certainly still have room for growth personally and professionally, I know that, at least for me, I need less information and more integration. I don’t need more tips and tricks and hacks. I need time to do the stuff I already know works but I’m avoiding it because it’s hard! I also don’t let some random Instagram account convince me I need to improve some aspect of my life I’d never previously considered. I trust my brain to identify real problems and then seek out information to solve said problems.
So what does this mean for your burnout?
We don’t all have the luxury of just not worrying about money. I didn’t have that luxury for a long time and, honestly, once I took the job at the hospital we were going through expensive fertility treatments. But! No matter how much you earn or where you live, I bet there are steps you can take to “lower your personal overhead.”
And regardless of your financial situation, you might find that limiting unattainable, perfectionist-y content might be good for your brain and your burn out.
If you’ve ever been burnt out how did you get past it? And how long did it take for you?
The Second Act is an entirely reader-supported publication. Click here to subscribe or gift a friend a subscription here (if a friend sent you this —tell them thanks!). Anything you want covered? Questions? Reply with a comment below! You can also find me on Instagram. Please come say hi!
Can you do me a favor? If you like this, will you hit the heart ❤️ on the bottom of your email? I promise it helps!