Sunday Edition: The Cool Girl, Burnt Out
and what burnout actually looks like for me
The Sunday Edition is Tuesday’s little sister—off-the-cuff updates I’d bring up over a coffee catch-up with a friend.
Once upon a time, I thought being “put together” meant having a color-coded calendar, a perfectly balanced life, and a nervous system that could withstand anything. But somewhere between the ambition and the overwhelm, I realized: the version of me trying to be everything to everyone was always one skipped meal away from unraveling.
I used to believe the cool girl had it all dialed in. Now I know she’s the one who knows when to rest. When to log off. When to say, “Not today.” She still has goals. She still shows up. But she’s not burning herself down to prove she can handle it.
What burnout actually looks like for me
It’s not always a full collapse. Sometimes it’s quiet. Subtle. It looks like refreshing your inbox at midnight. Getting snappy with people you love. Eating dinner standing up while scrolling your phone. Feeling like your brain is made of static, and your body is in a constant state of low-level buzzing.
I call this low-grade burnout. Functional, but frayed. Alive, but disconnected.
Signs I’m drifting from myself
My laugh gets quieter
I start resenting things I used to love
Everything feels like a to-do
I stop texting people back (even the ones I adore)
I scroll to numb, not connect
My house looks fine, but I feel scattered
I can’t remember the last time I felt in my body
And when I start noticing that feeling creeping in, I don’t need a 7-step productivity system. I need to come home to myself.
So what do we do when we feel off?
Here’s what I’m learning about stress, self-care, and not letting burnout run the show.
1. We protect our peace (by saying no faster)
I used to over-explain my boundaries, like they needed a dissertation to be valid. Now, I just say: “That doesn’t work for me right now.” No guilt. No performance.
Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away. It’s about staying close to the version of myself I’m trying to protect.
2. We stop saving rest for later
There is no gold medal for holding it all together. You don’t get extra credit for waiting until the wheels fall off to take a break.
If your body is whispering for rest, you don’t have to wait until it starts screaming.
3. We swap hustle culture for human pace
Instead of trying to “get ahead,” I’m asking myself: Where do I actually want to go?
And how can I get there without losing myself in the process?
I still love a good to-do list. But I’m learning that presence matters more than productivity.
4. We don’t confuse self-care with performance
Real self-care isn’t an aesthetic. It’s doing the boring thing that helps you feel more like yourself again.
Not “hot girl walks” and green juice (unless that’s your thing). But…
Lying on the floor for 10 minutes without your phone
Drinking water and actually tasting it
Texting your therapist instead of just thinking about it
Crying in the shower and calling it release, not weakness
5. We get intentional about how we use our screens
Scrolling doesn’t always soothe. I’ve found that I feel better when I swap social media for slower media, books, playlists, a long voice memo with a friend.
When I consume less, I hear myself more clearly.
6. We stop trying to be “balanced” and start aiming for alignment
Balance implies equal effort in all directions. Alignment means honoring your real priorities right now.
Some seasons are kid-heavy. Some are work-heavy. Some are about healing. The goal isn’t to juggle it all perfectly—it’s to feel like your energy matches your values.
A few small things that help me feel grounded again
Setting a “do not disturb” window on my phone
Leaving the dishes until tomorrow and going to bed early
Listening to music that reminds me of who I was before the stress
Choosing the cozy outfit, even if I don’t leave the house
Asking: What do I need today, not forever?
Talking to one person who knows me and won’t try to fix me
One more thing...
The cool girl isn’t the one who does it all. She’s the one who knows what’s too much. Who leaves the party early. Who closes her laptop when her brain says “enough.” Who still has ambition, but doesn’t treat her worth like a productivity report.
She’s not perfect. She’s self-aware. She’s a little messy, but she knows how to return to herself.
And she knows that real power doesn’t come from doing it all—it comes from knowing when to stop.
Just a little reminder, being “cool” was never about having it all figured out. The version I believe in now? She’s the one who knows how to be with life when it’s messy. Who pays attention. Who learns to pause before she burns out completely. Who holds ambition in one hand and compassion in the other.
Stress will come. So will burnout. Especially when you care deeply and show up fully. But what matters is how you care for yourself in the middle of it all. How you shift. How you soften. How you come back.
This isn’t about chasing perfection. It’s about choosing alignment. So if you’ve been feeling stretched thin or a little far from yourself lately, this is your nudge to slow down. Breathe deeper. Reconnect. You’re still allowed to be cool and capable and tender all at once. Go at the pace that honors your real life, not the one that looks good from the outside.
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