Sunday Edition: Running Late, But Still Showing Up
On the quiet panic of falling behind, and the truth that time is not a race
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I used to think I’d be “caught up” by now.
That I’d be farther along. That some invisible checklist would be completed. The bigger house, the bigger savings account, the confidence in my voice. The marriage would be intact. The career would be climbing. I would know how to cut a watermelon correctly. (lol)
But here I am. In my late thirties, deep into my second act, still untangling my identity from the expectations I outgrew years ago. Still wondering if I’m doing it all too late.
And it’s not just the big life markers, the job title, the retirement account, the relationship status, that trigger that quiet ache. It’s the softer things, too. The friendships that drifted. The relationship with rest I thought I’d have figured out. The parts of myself I thought I’d know more of. It’s the moment I stand in the kitchen staring at the sink full of dishes and wonder if I missed the seminar where everyone else learned how to be an adult.
Lately, I’ve felt behind in ways I can’t quite name. Not just in milestones or parenting philosophies, but in healing. In learning how to rest. In trusting that my timing, however nonlinear, is still worthy.
It’s hard not to look sideways. At the friend who built a life I quietly envy. At the acquaintance who writes with more clarity, more output, more ease. At the girl I used to be, before the detours and the plot twists, who seemed so certain of where she was going.
And maybe that’s the part I grieve the most. The version of me who thought there’d be a map. A clear path. A timeline. Instead, I’ve ended up here, with more questions than answers, more softness than certainty, and a quieter kind of courage I didn’t know I’d need.
But every time I spiral, something steadies me. The quiet realization that there’s no such thing as behind when you’re building a life that’s your own.
Not a solution, but a shift. A small, almost imperceptible reminder that there’s no such thing as behind when you’re building a life that’s your own. That some of us bloom late. Some of us bloom twice. Some of us have to burn down the blueprint before we can even imagine something better.
And maybe being “behind” just means we’re paying closer attention. Moving more slowly. Refusing to settle for someone else’s version of enough.
Some of us bloom late. Some of us bloom twice.
Some of us have to rebuild from ashes before anything sticks.
And all of us are more unfinished than we seem.
So if you’re like me, feeling behind, fumbling through the fog, this is your gentle reminder, there’s still time.
You’re not running out of time.
You’re finally becoming someone who knows how to use it.
A Tiny Thought to Carry
“Don’t assume you’re late to your life. You might just be early to the good part.” Inspired by a note I wrote myself last week.
If you want a book that echoes this, try Late Bloomers by Rich Karlgaard. A lovely read on timing, value, and redefining success.
Journal Prompts for the Days You Spiral + My Soft Landing Playlist
Sometimes when I feel behind, it’s not just logistical, it’s emotional. Like I’ve missed some invisible train everyone else managed to catch. On those days, I try to come back to myself gently.
Below, I’m sharing a few journal prompts I’ve been working through. Simple questions to help untangle the spiral. And a playlist I made for the moments I need a soft place to land. Nothing fancy. Just a little rhythm to remind you, you’re not behind. You’re still becoming.
A few journal prompts I’ve been sitting with lately:
What would “on time” look like if I were the one defining it?
Whose pace am I trying to keep up with and why?
What part of me is asking for patience?
Screenshot or save these graphics to ponder the questions throughout your week.
The Second Act — Slow Down playlist
A soft landing for your spiral days. It’s full of mellow songs that remind me to come back to myself. To choose gentleness over urgency.
This one’s for the version of you that’s still becoming. The one who’s not late, just early to the good part.
If this one landed, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below and tell me where you’ve felt behind lately, or what’s helping you stay soft in the becoming.
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