Lovin' Lately no. 29
When I Forget Myself, This Is What Helps
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There are days when I can’t tell if I’m just tired or if something deeper has gone quiet. Days when I open the fridge three separate times—not for food, but for a pause. Days when texts feel like tiny weights, mirrors feel a little too honest, and I forget how to sit still without filling the silence.
It’s not always dramatic. Just… off. Like I’ve misplaced something I didn’t realize I was holding. Like I’m a half-second behind myself, and can’t quite catch up.
What I’ve learned (the hard way, many times) is that disconnection doesn’t always crash in loud. Sometimes it looks like competence. You’re still doing all the things. Still functioning. Still getting stuff done. And yet—inside, you feel far from yourself. You move through the day like a stand-in.
I used to try to fix it by doing more. More planning. More systems. More habits. I thought structure would bring me back. But it didn’t. Not really. It just helped me perform being okay.
The truth is: the only thing that really brings me back are the tiniest gestures. The most ordinary rituals. The kind of moments you’d scroll past on Instagram because they don’t sparkle. But they work. Because they meet me where I actually am—not the best version of myself, just the one that’s trying.
Here’s my list. The things that make me feel like a person again. Not better. Not healed. Just... here.
1. Standing barefoot putside for one minute, even if the weather is weird
It’s not about the view. It’s about grounding. About remembering there’s a world happening outside my calendar.
2. Eating something warm and simple
A piece of toast. A reheated bowl of soup. The kind of meal that doesn’t require a recipe or a photo. Just something soft I can hold.
3. Letting my phone die on purpose
For ten minutes. An hour. However long I can stand. The silence always feels awkward at first. Then, spacious.
4. Touching my neck, collarbone, or wrists gently
Sometimes I need to feel my own skin to remember I’m a body, not a brain on overdrive.
5. Drinking water out of a real glass
Not a travel cup. Not a bottle. A real, heavy glass. The kind that makes a small task feel intentional.
6. Re-reading a book I once loved
Even just one paragraph. Something I highlighted years ago. A sentence that reminds me who I used to be—and how far I’ve come.
7. Washing one thing by hand
A dish. A makeup brush. A windowpane. Not because it needs to be done. But because it brings me back to my senses.
8. Playing music I know by heart
Loud enough to feel it. Songs that pull something loose in my chest. Ones I don’t have to think about—just feel.
9. Putting on something soft, even if I haven’t “earned it”
That sweater. That robe. That shirt I save for better moods. Sometimes softness can come first.
10. Lying on the floor, just because
No yoga mat. No stretching routine. Just letting gravity hold me for a while. It works almost every time.
11. Whispering “you’re okay” out loud
Not for drama. Just reassurance. A quiet kindness to interrupt the internal static.
12. Opening a window in a room no one’s in
Letting the air shift, just a little. A tiny reset for the energy I forgot was lingering.
13. Naming how I feel without needing to solve it
Not journaling. Not processing. Just a sentence like: “I feel flat today.” That’s enough.
14. Turning off one light and lighting a candle instead
Not for ambiance. For softness. To remember I can shift the mood of a room without changing anything else.
15. Sitting with a hot cup of tea until it’s empty
Not multitasking. Not scrolling. Just drinking it all the way through. The act of finishing something gently feels like a small return.
The Second Act is an entirely reader-supported publication written and created by Danielle Wraith. Click here to subscribe or gift a friend a subscription here (if a friend sent you this —tell them thanks!). Anything you want covered? Questions? Reply with a comment below! You can also find me on Instagram. Please come say hi!
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