On Wearing the Red Lip
A quiet return to color, confidence, and not asking for permission
Hi! Danielle Wraith here! The Second Act is the weekly newsletter I always wanted in my inbox, packed with obsessively-curated recommendations, thoughtful reflections on books, feelings, life, and the art of making room for more. Whether you're seeking inspiration or connection. The Second Act offers a warm, inviting space for all.
For most of my adult life, I’ve lived in the land of neutrals. My wardrobe? Oatmeal. My nail polish? Barely-there pink. My makeup? A polite swipe of something that says “I made an effort,” but not much more.
I didn’t mean to go colorless. It just sort of happened—gradually, quietly, over the course of a few seasons that asked me to stay small, or soft, or simply efficient. Red lipstick? That always felt like it belonged to someone else.
I don’t know exactly when I stopped experimenting with color, but I have theories.
Maybe it was becoming a mother and wanting to fade into the background a bit. Maybe it was the low-level vulnerability hangover that comes from sharing bits of your life online. Or maybe it was just easier to blend in than risk standing out and being misunderstood.
But sometime last winter, I got tired of shrinking.
I wanted to feel alive again, festive, even. And I started small.
A red lip on Christmas Eve.
Then again at a book club holiday party.
And again, for no reason at all, on an ordinary Tuesday.
And the wildest thing happened: I didn’t hate it.
I didn’t overthink it.
I didn’t ask, “Am I pulling this off?”
I just… wore it. And liked how it made me feel.
I felt a little more awake. A little more like the version of myself who doesn’t ask permission to be seen.
It wasn’t about the color, really. It was about choosing to show up in a way that felt slightly more me, even if it surprised people. Even if it surprised me.
Turns out, it’s not about being “someone who can pull off red lipstick.”
It’s about deciding that you already do.
Then again, I also think of my friend Lori, who is not a celebrity but a red lip aficionado all the same, who once told me nonchalantly that red lipstick is like a superpower to her.
For her, red lipstick is not an accessory or a “look” it’s a mindset.
She wears it when she needs to get stuff done. Or my friend Cynthia, who slays a colorful lip!
One year later, I’m enjoying another Red Lip Season™️ ✨
My current favorite? Merit signature lip in Power. I’ve been using Merit products consistently for 8 months now and the more I use them, the more I love them. If you’re not familiar with the brand, Merit takes a holistic approach to beauty, making products that are safe for the body, skin and planet. I’ve said this before, but Merit is a great makeup choice for people who love skincare (hi, it’s me!). All of their products are vegan, cruelty-free, and non-comedogenic.
Here are my current favorites:
Signature Lip – Buttery soft, gorgeous pigment, lasts for hours. I use Ginger and Millenial for a natural, everyday wear, and Power as my bold red lip. One thing I love about Merit is that they show their lip colors on different models of varying ages and skin colors. Sometimes buying makeup online feels like a real gamble, but seeing the lipstick shades on real people made it easier to choose. I have medium skin with pink undertones and the two shades I ordered were perfect home runs.
Flush Balm – This is my all-time favorite Merit product. The application is everything; this blush glides on like a dream! I wear Beverly Hills every day and switch to Rouge when I want a real pop on my cheeks.
The Minimalist – The Minimalist Perfecting Complexion Foundation and Concealer Stick. According to Merit, this is “not a foundation or a concealer, but it’ll replace both in your makeup bag.” I stopped wearing foundation a few years ago, opting for a tinted SPF instead, but love using The Minimalist under my eyes, and to spot treat any blemishes if needed. FWIW: I find that most (all?) of the Merit products work best on a fully hydrated face. When your face is prepped well, the Minimalist (and blush and highlighter!) glide on like your favorite chapstick. I wear Bisque in the Winter months and Suede in the Summer months.
Day Glow – Runner-up all-time favorite Merit product. This might be the California girl in me, but I love a sun-kissed glow on the cheekbones. Again, the application is everything. Cava is my shade of choice.
What’s on my wishlist! Thier new Cream-to-Powder Soft Matte Eyeshadow’s and more Eyebrow Gel-Pomade (I always have this on me!)
If you’re reading this and feeling unsure:
Yes, you can wear the red lip.
Yes, even if it feels like too much.
Yes, especially if it does.
Any questions about Merit? Tell me your favorite red lip. Or your boldest beauty move lately. I want to know!
One last red lip photo from Thanksgiving. It’s a mindset.
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You look incredible in red!!
This was a beautiful read, and timely reminder that I too need to wear my red lipsticks again. An ex of mine once warned me against doing so(?) and now I twice-as-much need to dig them out again.